When my Wife and I first got married, we were stationed at Camp Lejeune, NC. One weekend we decided to have a date and go to the gun range off of Western Blvd. What I didn’t know at the time, is my wife has never fired a gun. Ever. In her life. When I took her to the range, I ended up breaking one of my cardinal rules of firearms training, mostly because this is where the rule originated. The rule was, never teach your spouse to shoot, they won’t listen to you. Children are different. They have to listen to you. But I always suggest to my friends who want to teach their wives to shoot, to hire someone else to do it. I learned many things at that time on how to teach civilians to shoot. At that time, my only experience was teaching Marines and Sailors as a Primary Marksmanship Instructor.

If you have never shot a firearm before, it can be an intimidating experience. Loud bursts, awesome power, not being comfortable and ignorance of the weapon can provide a lot of anxiety the first time. Especially when you decide to start carrying concealed, having a firearm on your hip brings a whole host of new feelings to the situation.

The very first step is to review the laws in your state and determine what you need to do to purchase a firearm and what is required to get your concealed carry. Some states require a state sanctioned conceal carry class, some don’t require a class at all. Right now, while laws are actually being enforced (mostly), you need to be knowledgeable about what aspects can land you in jail and what can keep you out of jail. There are organizations in each state that will help educate you on the laws in your area.

The next step is to go to your local shooting range that allows you to rent firearms to test out. Keep in mind, that you need to find a firearm that fits well in your hand, but that firearm also needs to be reliable. There are a few firearms that are tried and true with reliability, that any good tactical firearm instructor will endorse. Reliability is important, because you want to know that when you pull the trigger that the firearm will go bang. The last thing you want, is to be in a physical altercation with someone, you’re holding off the aggressor with one hand and reach down into your holster and pull out your firearm, pull the trigger, and it will not fire because it has a double feed from when you loaded the magazine.

Firearms that I endorse would be the H&K VP9, SIG 365/360, and any Glock variant. I highly suggest you stick with 9mm rounds, as ballistically there is little difference between them and higher calibers, especially now with advanced carry ammo. 9mm allows you to carry more rounds in a magazine, allowing you to put more shots on target. I personally carry a Glock 19, its an ugly block of a firearm, but I know when I pull the trigger it will fire.

After finding the firearm you are comfortable with, the next thing you need to do is find training in your area. Stay away from any NRA instructors that only teach NRA courses. The standards to become an NRA instructor are so low, that you regularly see NRA instructor fails on Tik Tok and other social media venues. If there is an instructor that offers training, and they advertise they are also an NRA instructor, do some research to see what others who have taken the training have said about them. Ideally, you want someone who stresses the fundamentals such as grip, breathing, safety rules, etc. over any advanced shooting tactics.

Training is absolutely paramount, and should be stressed over any purchasing of any further firearms. If I had $1000 to spend on a firearm, I would choose to spend about 3-400 on the firearm itself, 200 on ammo, and the rest on training. Then any additional funds would always go towards ammo and more training. Shooting is a perishable skill, if you do not shoot regularly you will start to lose that edge and get sloppy.

Choose a trainer that also teaches you how to do reload drills where you lose the function of one arm. Choose a trainer that teaches you how to plug holes and use a tourniquet. You are much more likely to use a tourniquet in your lifetime than to use your firearm in defense. Choose a trainer that teaches you how to shoot in unnatural positions. Choose a trainer that teaches you to shoot in inclement weather. A self defense scenario isn’t dictated by good weather. A criminal is not going to keep from committing crime because its raining a little bit outside.

Once you have the training, and feel comfortable carrying every day, make sure you never leave the house without your firearm. Whether you are going to Mass, the grocery store, to the local hardware store, it does not matter. Always have your firearm on you, as you do not know when you will need it. You may have to make some tough choices, on what businesses you patron. Some businesses do not want you to carry in their store. You have to choose at that time if you’re willing to put your life in their hands by shopping at their store. Or perhaps you make a choice to ignore their desires. That is entirely up to you. Just know, that if you go into a store that doesn’t allow firearms you have one of two choices. You put your safety into their hands, or you risk being thrown out or having the police called on you because you ignore their desires. Only you can make that choice.

Men must be willing to do what’s arduous for those whose care they have been put in charge. Do not fail to be a man.