Pater Familias

The pater familias, also written as paterfamilias (plural patres familias), was the head of a Roman family. The pater familias was the oldest living male in a household, and exercised autocratic authority over his extended family. (Wikipedia)

Men are under a constant barrage of indirect and direct fire in our Neo-Modernist Post-Christian society. Commercials for products warn us against “Toxic Masculinity”. We are a constant threat to women and civilization at large. Any man who exhibits “hyper masculine” characteristics, is a danger to children, women, and even other men. Alpha men who want to maintain physical strength, agility and speed in addition to a the ideal of upholding the honor of their wives or other women in their life, have become an outdated and unrealistic caricature of a man. We have evolved past all of these antiquated ideas and we live in a world where a man should be as comfortable with picking out doilies, as he is finding a new beard balm.  

The Church has not helped our view of men in our times. All you have to do is go to any of the majority of Novus Ordo Parishes and see who the majority of Lectors and Cantors are. The Extraordinary Ministers of Holy Communion are legion with the women of the Parish. Altar Girls outnumber the Boys by usually 2:1. We sing hymns like “Go Make a Difference” and “On Eagles Wings”. The Priest’s homily hardly ever challenges the men to a higher standard and will have a high likelihood to include some type of off-color joke about how incompetent men are in the house hold. If men are included in the Parish ministries of any sort, its usually the one place where they have the least responsibility, passing out the offer baskets. 

Father Chad Ripperger, in a talk he has about raising men, explains to us that boys crave a challenge. Boys need manual labor and difficult tasks to feel accomplished. A hard days work produces the best night sleep. We need a goal bigger than ourselves, a purpose that we can strive to. The harder it is to attain, the harder we want to work for it. This example is exhibited every 13 weeks when Bootcamp at either Parris Island or Marine Recruit Depot San Diego starts another fresh batch of Boys wanting to become Marines. Marines are notorious for having the most difficult basic training of all the branches, yet the Marines hardly ever miss their recruiting goals. In fact, during the height of the Iraq/Afghanistan wars, the Marine Corps had so many boys wanting to become infantry to go to war, they were on a waiting list to go to Bootcamp. 

Our children see in us the type of men that we are. Our example in our daily lives, lived out to our desire to please God, is what our children most remember about us. When was the last time your children caught you praying? When was the last time your children observed you showing compassion to someone who can do nothing for you? Can you even remember an instance where you did what was right in front of your children at the expense of what was easier? My father was a blue collar tradesman. He was not the smartest man, but he worked hard and all his customers knew that he would treat them very fairly and would bend over backwards to do what was needed even if they couldn’t pay everything. When he would take my brother and I to jobs sites because he was unable to find childcare, I would observe his work ethic and his compassion for the people he worked for. Most of his business was word of mouth. Word got around that if you wanted a job done right and for a fair price, my father was the man to call. He made sure I went to Catholic schools when he could afford it, and made sure I received all my sacraments. He taught me how to pray at night before bed and how to honor your father and your mother, even though he was no longer with my mother. 

I recently returned to the Catholic Church a couple years ago after going deep into research about my Christian faith. I served eight years in the Marine Corps with multiple combat deployments. After the Marine Corps, I became a Firefighter/Paramedic in Metro Atlanta for a few years. I have learned a thing or two about death, hope, charity, and putting trust in our Heavenly Father.  I have seen the decrepit state of men in society today, and its up to us to correct that state. 

Our sons need better examples and mentors to lead them. It is time we step up and provide that. 

This Blog is going to be my outlet to helping you all learn from my mistakes and successes. What we can do better as men, and what things I think men need to learn or practice to continue our own betterment. 

Until then, Pray the Rosary and Put in Strong Work.